Deconstructing the Metaphor
As the end of January rolls around I can’t help but think about the climax of a monthly challenge my wife and I have been participating in. Every year, without fail, we live one month of our life sans alcohol. We call it “Dry January,” and it feels appropriate after the social excess of the holiday season. As a craft beer aficionado, I usually feel a hankering for a nice stout or porter, sometime in the depths of January. My cravings for beer are easily outweighed by my love for a challenge. Goals, feats, accomplishments…phrase it however you like, but for a self-proclaimed “Type A” personality like myself (and my wife), these challenges are incredibly addictive. The New Year’s Resolution is just another annual excuse for us to fabricate another competition for ourselves.
I’ve typically thought of this willingness to better myself as a positive personal characteristic, but something Marilyn Poitras said on this month’s podcast caught me off guard. I was taken aback when Marilyn talked about removing something from your life to create a sense of balance for any task you may have added. Resolutions often involve us adding something to our lives (going to the gym to get in shape) or at least adding a level of pressure to remove something (quitting smoking). If you add an item to your life, but don’t remove one, then you are creating an imbalance.
When I deconstruct the metaphor of the endless need for goals in my life, I’m faced with a few hard realities. How many of these are deeply tied to my feeling of self-worth as a person? Am I using some of these goals, not for personal growth, but to feed my ego and validate myself in a society pre-occupied with productivity? I recently read an article that described that nagging feeling of accomplishment as a long-time by-product of late-stage capitalism. This was frightening to me as it flipped the notion that goal setting is always a noble and harmless pursuit. It made me inquire the very motivation behind each goal. Are these goals ever for the greater good of my family and my community, or are they integrally tied to the stroking of my own ego?
As I think about setting goals this year, I plan to question each passing idea and try to trace it back to the origin of its intent. Each goal that is deemed worthy will need to go through a rigorous interview process. If it is simply serving my ego then it may be better to remove it and leave space to learn more about the community I share with others and serving the needs of my young family.
I hope you find the time to listen to Kim and Marilyn’s conversation. It has altered how I will think about goals moving forward and I think it may help you recalibrate how you think of them in your life as well.
-Tanner
Autumn Goose Chief Storyteller